Must meditate

I'm such a scatterbrain at the moment - so many ideas/thoughts are bombarding me on a continual basis.  I've been anything but productive in the past few weeks.  I must meditate so I can let my thoughts settle, only then I can figure out and listen to what my heart is truly yearning to do.

Since my last post of deciding to not pursue the restaurant/catering biz, I've been thinking about "do I/do I not?" and "why/why not", non-stop. Aye, its so frustrating.  My landlord had made the generous offer about having me cater a party for him and I was thinking "No" from the very first moment. Tell me why then did I just send an email thanking him for considering me, along with a sample menu and my availability.  Did I do it because I was afraid of saying no or was it because secretly I knew I could do it, and it would be great, and he and his guests would be happy and I wanted the satisfaction of knowing it was the food I had made?  I don't know what I want to do.  I was thinking to start an indian bangles/bracelets store down in Waikiki and perhaps spices too. Then I thought, what if people bought the spices but didn't know what to do with it? Well, then I would need to start a YouTube channel with videos showing them how to make some of my most favorite dishes.  That way I would hand them a recipe card with the link to the video and off they can go and recreate and be happy! :)

Hopefully, that's how it turns out.  Another thing is I'm not good with business matters. I'm not a sales person, I simply cannot sell. Back in my realtor days, I would actually convince people to not list their house and show houses but convince the buyer not to buy it.  Anyhow.. back to meditating. Yes, I need to.