Not afraid...

So.. Nina (my roommate) and I were having dinner at Auntie Pasto's the other night contemplating what is to become of our future if we don't secure jobs soon.  Neither of us wanted to admit that we may not be able to stay but the job hunt has been grim thus far and we don't know when we'll get our break.

We both gave ourselves till March and made our way back home.  I couldn't sleep all night - I don't want to go back to Cali, I really want to stay and live here in Hawaii.  Starting my own biz will be great, but it will take time, and my family and friends are right, I really need a job.

Yesterday morning started great - I found a job on Craigslist for a Warranty Administrator for a high-end dealership. It sounded promising and they called me in for an interview to see me the next morn (today).

I couldn't be happier. But still.. I was worried.  As I was riding the bus home from Waikiki, I noticed the windshield wipers were going crazy on the bus, yikes, its pouring and I didn't bring an umbrella/jacket. I was unsure of what will happen, will it be safe? Its about a 1/2 mile walk home, will I get sick? Is it going to be slippery (we live uphill).. etc etc. Funny thing is, as soon as I stepped out into the storm, Eminem's voice started booming through my headphones - his song "Not Afraid" started playing just then. Here's the chorus of his song:

"I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel like you’ve been down the same road"


Anyhow.. at that moment I knew everything was going to be ok.  I was going to find a job and I am going to make it. I'm not afraid. :)  As I was re-energizing my spirit listening to that song and thinking I need to stop second guessing myself and my choices, the next song came on: Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten.  Talk about songs that I needed to hear, right! The lyrics are:


"Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"


I was literally walking home in the rain and feeling the bliss of excitement for the future and not knowing what tomorrow brings but no longer being afraid. Those songs were just what I needed to hear.  Wow - the lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes through itunes. :D